This month we celebrate Father’s Day. It’s a chance to show our fathers, grandfathers, great grandfathers, and also men who serve in the role of fathers how much they mean to us. A chance to show how their hard work, sacrifice, and commitment have paid off. A chance to recognize good fathers everywhere.
But what exactly does it mean to be a good father? What does it take to be a good father?
There are many possible answers. Some might say that a good father is someone who sets a positive example for his children. Others might say a good father is someone who helps provide for his family, or who treats his children kindly and with respect.
I think all those things are true. But let me add one more to that list:
A good father is someone who spends time with his children, even when it’s not convenient for him.
Take this charming story about Abraham Lincoln, for example.
The year was likely 1861. Lincoln had only been president for a few short months. With the Civil War raging and an entire nation to run, the former prairie lawyer had little time to himself. In the early years of his presidency, he was even known to meet with private citizens who had some personal grievance or request.
Meanwhile, Lincoln’s two young sons, Tad and Willie, were oblivious to the pressures of their father’s job. They loved to run, make noise, and play pranks. But one of their favorite things to do was play with a toy doll dressed up like a Union soldier.
While their father was Commander in Chief of the Army, Tad and Willie were co-Commanders of the toy soldier. They would frequently give the doll—which they named Jack—military assignments like standing sentry. Unfortunately, the poor doll usually failed at being a soldier. Time after time, the two boys accused Jack of desertion, or sleeping at his post. The appropriate punishment was clear: a court martial, always ending with an official execution at sunrise.
The two boys would then pretend to execute Jack with a toy cannon before burying him in the White House garden in an elaborate ceremony. The next day, they would dig him up again and repeat the game, over and over and over. When an actual Army officer learned of Jack’s recurring fate, he told the boys it was high time the doll seek an official presidential pardon. It was the only way to save a condemned soldier’s life, after all.
The officer was probably joking, but the boys took it seriously. They dashed off to their father’s office where Lincoln was in a meeting. “Don’t you dare bother the president!” Lincoln’s secretary warned, but to them, it wasn’t just “the president” they were looking for. It was Dad.
Suddenly, Lincoln himself opened the door. “Well, boys, what’s the matter?” he asked.
“Oh Pa,” Tad said desperately, “we want a pardon for Doll Jack.”
With some of the most powerful men in the country looking on, Lincoln decided then and there to put his prior meeting on hold. He had more important matters to attend to. “A pardon for Jack?” he said, “You come in here and tell me why you think Jack should have a pardon.”
Ushering the two boys into his office, he sat down and said, “State your case, Tad.”
Being the son of a lawyer, Tad immediately launched into a lengthy defense of his toy. When he finished, Lincoln, straight-faced and solemn the whole time, took out a sheet of his official stationery. On it, he wrote:
The Doll Jack is pardoned, by order of the president.
– A. Lincoln
Sometimes, being a good father is taking time out of a busy day to listen to what children have to say. Sometimes, being a good father is joining in their games and indulging their fantasies.
Sometimes, being a good father is as simple as pardoning a child’s doll.
This month we celebrate Father’s Day. Whatever being a good father means to you, I hope you have a happy Father’s Day!